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I have had prayers answered - most strangely so sometimes - but I think our heavenly Father's loving-kindness has been even more evident in what He has refused me. - Lewis Carroll Fathers day today - did you ring yours? Is he still alive? Did you catch up over a fish or beer or brunch at a trendy café. Do you wonder who he is or where he went or why he had to go away? Milestone dates like these - fathers day, mothers day... where we are bombarded by Hallmark moments and Bunnings ads that are so mass generated as to be cringe worthy.Do they have any idea of the potential customer base they may be alienating. I long to hear of the teacher who acknowledges that the fathers day card activity may need some tweaking to meet her class demographic of 2013. The nuclear family is hardly the norm. What of those who sit today or on mothers day or any other culturally inept example of celebration missing their dads without the soch-med-cred of fitting the event to a tee? There are dads who may never be known. Or those who have been taken too soon or confusingly by cancer, alcoholism or prison. The suicide's, the workaholics, the ones that are unnamed on birth certificates or lost at sea. There are dads whose babies have died before them who must face today without a child. The truth is we all had one. A sperm donor a contributor to DNA pool. Was he tall dark and handsome? An entrepreneur or engineer? In todays mix of blended families we may be lucky enough to have more than one. A step father, a foster dad, a grand father great or otherwise. How we know them, love them and connect with them may define us, bind us or blind us. We do our dads a disservice to lump them all together and expect them to be here today, wearing the socks we've bought them and eating the breakfasts we have prepared. I believe that before we incarnate we choose our parents. For the lessons they will teach us and what we decide we would like to learn this lifetime this time around on this planet. If you incarnate to a couple of teenagers ill prepared for parent hood it's no great surprise when the relationship doesn't show longevity. Perhaps if the early loss or death of your dad builds your character, your fortitude, your compassion and your care you have an opportunity to DO things you would not have chosen to DO otherwise. To connect with other people, to champion a cause. To give love to another dad whom you may not have had space or time for before. If your dad was a hard task master what did you learn? If he was a softie, a push over, a woman on her own wat and how does that make you? Our dads are there to teach us, by their presence or by their absence or even by the fact that we may never know who they were or where they came from. I was reading through an old journal today and I found two fathers day gems. My first babies first word was uttered on fathers day it was Dada. It was a special thing to share with her today her first fathers day without her dad. A life lesson - that has stuck with me was also noted. My dad reminding me that when I didn't get something I didn't want it bad enough. I'd been turned down for physiotherapy school and was very woe is me. Expecting comfort and consolation I still recall the fury at being told it was all up to me. But I got it. Yep I should have studied more, not gone to the pub, chased the boys, thought I was good enough to get in without the work. And every time since when I miss out on anything I know more and more clearly my dad is right. If I really want anything I can create it. And when I miss out it's ok - I can't have really wanted that thing anyway. The picture above is my darling dad. I love you x x And I'm really really glad you are alive today. Today I have been thinking a lot of my own dad and a lot of the dads who are not here and the dads that are. My kids were scrapping tonight and I had to cut my phone call short - it's ok I know he heard what I wanted to say. My dad is lighting a candle for my brother in law - a dad I've thought of today who is on the other side. There are many of them. All my grand dads, the closet person I had to a step dad, my daughters dad, dads of my nieces and nephews, mum and aunties. Maybe your dad or a dad you have loved too. Dads of friends and friends children who through misadventure, mismanagement or mystery are not with their children here on earth today. Dads who lead good lives, full lives and long lives. Dad's with lives cut short too soon. They are all here - larger than life, in our thoughts, our memories and our circumstances. Our heavenly fathers. Those who seeded life as we know it. Today is the day we in New Zealand hold them in our hearts and thoughts and thank them for being the ones we all chose to have as our parents. Happy fathers day everyone - x
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