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Ways to create a rite of passage. Identify, Assess, Manage, Celebrate.
Identify: I am recently home, from a D.A.R.E finding it hard just to be. Focus scattered a long way from settled. Scanning for adventure, D.A.R-ing to think we could go back to India and complete a trifecta. There is one leg outstanding to circumnavigate a continent in an auto rickshaw. An opportunity to complete 10 000Km on a glorified law mower with a third Rickshaw Run, in just few weeks time. So out there, you can smell it, a hint of an epic event. Like something dying on the roadside. But for why? Our first Rickshaw Run is now so long go we only remember the bliss bits. Our second so fresh we feel accomplished, confident, job done, list tick and itch to go back. Like childbirth, stitches heal, pain fades. Once seen, the world, another filter, the mind, body, spirit, once stretched by new idea may never go back to its original dimension. Assess: It's the ...What are we meant to be doing next? - dilemma. Back at Arrow Ridge safe, secure a few days before the quake hit Nepal. Distant proximity created a macabre R.A.S fascinare for the places we had been on our Rickshaw Run, the people we almost met. The guy I looked into the face of as we spluttered past, West Bengal. Knowing, Aha-ing, a 5 second window, beyond laying eyes again. I ponder if he quaked? His whanau ok? Shelter standing? Runners Nostradramised earthquakes In Guhahati and Shillong shuddering with no tremor at the realization hotels would surely Engineeringly fail. Prophetic? My mind chatter how much they swayed. Now I want to be there helping, somewhere, someone, anywhere. I'm not, I'm here, yet I'm not. Manage: The Adrenalearn framework for a D.A.R.E rite of passage took a thumping on the last Rickshaw Run. Missed visas, our insurance refusing to pay, because I didn't Do the freakin work. Creating my own reality without focus on any detail I received what you would expect . I have edited The D.A.R.E book to reflect the B.F.O's of my journey. Tidied up the Do website and got the house ready for winter. I am yet to find any matching gloves. Coming home is hibernation. An epic journey creates a heap of transmitting and receiving. May Do rituals eliminating content, clearing clutter, settling down, healing, transforming. Of busting beliefs about backwards, boring and basic. Of committing to not allowing SAD to take over this season. To bring the run home. To go backforwards. To do more and be more for Live More Awesome. Winter maybe a time of incubation and verification. Time to suck it up. Show we know and get the Aha factor. It may be a time of sorting out plans and making tentative progress. Avoiding hazards, staying out of the cold. Establishing foundations, getting a head start, putting in a framework, planting a couple of hundred seed thoughts to see what flourishes in the spring. It may be blue sky powder days in paradise. We want to take our kids on a Rickshaw Run. Putting one of my children on the cover of The D.A.R.E when I began it pre 2000 was all about taking this life journey together. I dream of homes abroad, accelerated learning, travel schooling, an experiential life. Actual delivery - well... we have left our kids out to do our epic adventures, they wallow at home. Lamenting the lambaste of experience we are depriving them of. Our values hierarchy determines that family are our biggest priority but do we live it? We asked the Adventurists to let us bring kids if we came back for that third run. They have said absolutely no minors. Not negotiable. We pushed to sign waivers, self insure, we were inappropriate when drunk, threatened insulted and swore! We may have done anything, lied, smuggled children past officialdom at the start. Exposed to risk unknown, diverting their schooling. Our integrity out the window of a window less auto. Selling ourselves and our kids to risk with assertions we would all be OK when we have no control or power to affirm that as truth. Then I started to awaken, and acknowledge I'm just like any other junkie craving my fix. Novelty, adventure, escapism, selfies, holidays, reasons to drink in the morning or stay up all night. I want the top two levels of Maslows' pyramid. The self esteem and the self actualization levels yet I'm still resisting doing the work. The winter ahead is about not running. Though it may be putting on the shoes and getting out the door. It is about being here, doing what it is, here and now, I am doing. The basics - Physiological, Safety, Security, the bad, boring backforwards of Social. Work for my whanau. Starting with the stuff in front of me. Do the freakin work and D.A.R.E. CELEBRATE Who wants to come to the party?
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Ins: A study tour of infrastructure, hospitality and cross culture communication: 1: Roads funded by alcohol taxes - handy to work out where to buy booze. Grade1 roads = military base close to big drinkers grade 5 unfit for any purpose other than drinking your own pre purchased grog while wiring on your muffler. 2: hospitality: a tailor made cigarette may make you impotent or kill you faster but it will make you safer, healthier and happier than you would have ever thought possible in rural India. How rich you are is not what you have its how much you give. There is such a thing as too much service it seems to directly correlate to how much data you don't have. 3: cross cultural communication black caps, sir Richard Hadlee and Brendan mcCullum we owe you each a case of kingfisher. How to speak Hinglish. Why are you speaking English to each other? "70% of Indias population is less than 35 years old, 1/4 of them have English as a first language, education is king, the English left a British school system. We dream in English we think in English." - our hosts at "The Farm" near Japiur confirm much we have questioned about India's direction and future. This guest house is an eclectic trove of sublime upcycled palace parts, art, quirky pieces, reconfigured every year when the hip and charming proprietors return from their three month sojourn abroad. Tonight a week before they pack down we are their only guests joined by two inspiring young entrepreneurial designers, stunning sisters who share their latest cover on Conde Naste Traveller and explain that even in their strict Jain family traditions are changing -fast. They dabble in non veg and dress high fashion lamenting that their petite frames look as though someone has thrown fabric at them when they don traditional saris while still agreeing when (not if) they marry they will HAVE to wear one. The juxtaposition of modernity and tradition is rich with emotion and color. We put 335 kms away on our Rickshaw Run from Jodphur to Jaipur yesterday and the truckies, road bandits and places we chose not to stop obviously can still not read the memo. They have no English, no meat, are lambasted in fabric and dirt, they dodge rubble on freeways still under construction. Some help push our auto over road blockages some attempt to become one to force us off the road. We swerve around them or run straight at them determined not to find out what they would have done with that. India jumps technology, no need to lay copper wire go straight to mobile. Agriculture struggling with climate change convert a paddock to solar so you may educate your children. On the road we are seeing massive movements of new military equipment, tanks mainly and then wind turbines so many parts I've lost count and have stopped fumbling for camera as blades pass. E-motion = energy in motion. In India it sits on the surface, oil on Dahl tarkha. It can pool and puddle, heightening flavours, attacking senses. Leaving friends in Jodphur working hard on construction increasing their frugal home two fold, even poppa carrying buckets of sand to the roof top, chipping stone blocks by hand, famine and disability outweighed only by their hospitality and warmth. I cried thinking we may not Jai me Lang ge, see these folk again. The adrenalin truly running for a day, pushing the Tuk over road blocks, dodging bandits and truck drivers who are in a p fueled frenzy of Lane changing. To a sanctuary of bird song, gentle manners and chic industrial urban style. Where the pool is clean, the baby spinach organic and adopting a dog or a child is what you do because you should. India is on the move. What are you really doing in Singapore ...5 staring it I hope?... Ha.Team speedy kiwi yesterday was neither team or speedy. As being deported from India is my fault you can imagine 5 star rewards are not that forthcoming. After canceling all stars that were pointing to India by my inactions, Dad recommended our hotel Grand Park City Hall perfect, central $160-180 a night here at Easter is brilliant. Rates are up over $500 for other 3-4 star hotels this weekend. Some say Singapore is pricey, to kiwis it has parity with home - what does that say to us about NZ? We have been doing the visa dance which is frustratingly complex especially over easter. 9-3pm just to complete the on line applications as the Indian system kept crashing. A huge thanks to mum at home, Arrow Ridge we are now one step closer to seeing our new baby tuk tuk soon. Efficiency evaded us, A closed high commission, a travel agent wearing disconcerting cat eye contacts, sweating rivers her not I as she struggled pregnant with disabled hands to gesture that as foreign nationals here we have no hope, call home. Thank you God for mums. For my mum, form filling by phone in NZ exchanging scans and PDFs by shear will power. I'm close to 50 years of age and still a child. When Maslows hierarchy of needs is challenged humans focus on the level it crashes out at. For us right now it's level 2 safety and security. No matter how old we are its our mums and dads we long to hear from and be reassured by when we are vulnerable. I'm blessed. TC my mum jet lagged and only minutes in the door home herself yesterday after a month working in Europe is no stranger to travel dilemmas. We passed like flights in the Asian sky at night on Anything but good Friday. I couldn't wait to hear her voice. I knew she would help me to make things right. Mum had said just before we left ...As your children grow up they will still need you, not all the time - they'll do their own thing, they go away, don't ring enough or stay in touch, or share things with you, but there always comes the day that they pick up the phone cause you have the connection and they understand that it's you that they need. I didn't realize she was talking about me. Maslow level1 is physiological. And being deported from India took us out at the floor. We've retreated. As in paragliding comps sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. We are Resetting ... Having survived a near divorce flight we've realized sleep now run later may be a good strategy. Its good to acclimatize to the heat and adjust from home, to acknowledge we are on holiday, together.We've yelled, cried, slept and eaten. Healing. To begin to spice things up again. Level 3 - social in Maslows world, ensures we adjust our cultural drift. Our dress code, our slang and accents are getting a polish up so others understand us and will connect. Manners matter when you want and need to get out of the schmoo. Yet it's always the peak of the pyramid you set your sights on the self esteem and self fulfillment levels. I'm ok stuff. Reclaimed here. By doing the freakin work. Making good on mis-takes and being authentic and acting with integrity. Self actualisation is the pinnacle, Maslows peak. Creation. Singapore is a future, the architecture and systems are incredible, fascinating, engaging, exemplary. Art, education, innovation. We are going local and getting all over it. Learning, studying, exploring knowing that being here is part of the big picture adding to what it is that we do after this. What we will take away and contribute. About what it is that we are here to give. For the blog..Do the work, demonstrate TLC...These notes are written as we are being deported from India. Option A do nothing has led me to me stuff up our visa process for the rickshaw run, we are enroute to Singapore not knowing what is next. Visa on arrival is not. What it should be is Visa pre applied for granted after you do the freakin work. Do the work is the lesson today and everyday from now on. Those who know of my workshops and D.A.R.E rituals will know about TLC, an opportunity to meditate on what it is we are Thankful for, what we have Learnt and Commitments to carry out before the day is done. Ideally TLC is of value daily, at times of loss, confusion or pain perhaps a life raft or just something to DO when you don't know what else to do. So here it is and so it is; I am Thankful for: The love understanding and support from friends, family, and randoms, kind words and offers of support are more helpful than you think they will be and do help healing. Safe keeping on our journey we are alive and safe. That we are ok even if broken spirited. For dad for always answering the phone when I call with bad news and being there for me always even when at times I didn't know or ask for it. For Heather and Warrick together on our journey even when we are not. For my husband tested together in love spirit and purpose. For my children - brave and blessed. For the kindness of those on service. For faith that there is a plan. For trust that it will work out somehow. For calm in the face of adversity. For the will to do good. For the higher plan of least resistance. For belief in something, anything at times. For Scotch. Learnt: I'm sorry Being present is crucial. Follow up when one doubts. Sometimes things cannot be achieved or controlled through will alone. India is not the place to fight the system. You can't tell someone something if it is of no relevance to them or they have no interest in hearing it. Live more awesome is about more than a holiday. Sometimes there is little one can do other than surrender and release. I fucked it up. Unrouted and unsupported is a strong manifestation statement; as is ask for help. Checks and counter checks sometimes fail as does failing to check at all. Not knowing is only half ok and more than half not. Never turn down a free bottle of scotch when it's on offer you may need it later. In fact take all three. Some you win some you learn. Commitment: Good work and contribution is what makes me feel of value. Writing helps me to process. Authenticity is easy even when embarrassing. Surrender and release. Ask for help Pray Do the work. One month exactly somewhere in India. There is a chance quite likely, probably, that we may be at the start line of our mission to live more awesome and cool earth. We sincerely hope you are there with us too. Get your name on our Rickshaw and join the journey. Everyone who donates to one of our rickshaw run charities comes with us. We'll get our Indian paint team to pimp our ride with your handle. You too can save the earth and live more awesome - you know you want to. #rickshawrun training log... Second Best Marigold Hotel. The film opens on route 66. Crushing disappointment and panic. I thought this was all about India?? Please, please don't tell me its set in Murica... I'm amongst the grannies of Dunedin taking advantage of the $10 daytime standard rate to find romance and zest for new beginnings amongst our $10.50 junior popcorn, icecream, pepsi combos. Knowing if I order a Smirnoff voda ice at 1pm I'd be as obvious as a drinker in Gujarat. So taking one for the team, building Readings profits all the while thinking of the margins in popcorn, post mix and choc dips. I'm killing time until I pick my baby up from school for the drive home this weekend. Need some training on how to respond on kiwi roads like a visitor.
Coincidence is a word for when we can't see the bigger plan. I'm loving the B.F.O's in this movie, wishing I could take out my phone and screenshot them for later. Could have if I'd bought my charger as the new Reading cinema is right on customer service trend with charging stations at the new bar to linger over your 2 x beef sliders or self reserving movie stations where you can watch trailers swipe your card and book on screen. Minimal staffing, environs suggestive of a hotel or nightclub. These guys have realised they are in the business of being a place where people sometimes wait and always wish to be entertained. A bit like the Marigold hotel. I'm at a movie talking about Guy called Guy going there with various agendas. "Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn". Thanks Ganesh, just as I'm about to hyperventilate or consider 50 shades of Grey, next door the colours become vibrant. The music changes tempo and we are... somewhere in India. I feel the passion rise from the floor, up through my body, no surround sound or vibe from theatre 5, simply that, I am excited... much! This is tangible, I'm so relieved, I really #do want to be back there. I can feel it and I can't stop grinning dimple to dimple. I am so blessed to be this close. A month today on April 6th god willing Rajasthan will be closer than Row E chair 3. I am immediately conscious that I am the most probable in the theatre to be able to qualify - " The best present is the time"...somewhere in India. Many in the cinema are alone. Or with old friends, catching up on who is alive, whose already checked out - all before the lights dim. There are some who found the climb to theatre 4 up the freshly earthquake proofed reinforced minimalist stairwells as arduous as pushing an auto rickshaw up the foothills of Nepal. Shit. In less than 30 days I have to put the shoes on and get out the door. Maybe I should be running back to Queenstown today on foot. All those questions flood in - have I left the training too late? Will we get swine flu? Will our on line visa applications actually work on the 5th time I try to upload how many generations we have not had contact with Pakistan or will we once again be visa on arrival for four hours at an airport because I ran out of time, patience or will to prepare? The first stage of any learning journey is pre-exposure. We have been flashing ourselves nude at that one. Pouring over some great maps from our whanau / supporters from the UK. ( Thanks Amy x ) Trust the British to have a good handle on the Raj. Minimising our packing list from last year. Daring to plot nights in great hotels all in the name of coincidence hopeful that our unroute may take us that way unplanned with a time line and call to action that is break down free. All in the very good name of hotel inspector research for my work back home in hospitality. The Oberoi at the Taj Mahal and the Farm outside of Jaipur are a must. This is second in a lifetime route after all. Globalisation: Step 2: Get the big picture. This is all about our charities. The Live More Awesome Foundation inspire epic events to help others deal with depression. By increasing mental wellness, decreasing stress and encouraging people to #domore and #bemore. Please #do consider a donation to them. They encourage people to ask for help. So please people help us to help them. Ask your friends, family and random strangers to follow our facebook page https://www.fcebook.com/Teamspeedykiwi for live event updates and encourage any and all giving to #lma and #cooleearth. This year with cool earth we aim to help 6 villages in the Awajun tribe to sve 14 hectares of forest in Peru that is under threat. The link to donate to them and get the big picture of exactly where that forest is and what cool earth do and all the goss on #lma are in the details of the blog images above. Step 3: Initiation: There is a bonus prize. Live More Awesome are holding a competition right at this moment to enter the worlds greatest record books. Riding the worlds biggest water slide at Bethalls Beach Auckland weekend March 28th just before we depart for the start. We have tickets to give away already to one of our supporters. If we make it to the top of the leader board before March 28th fund raising for them one of you will get to go first in the world down the biggest inflatable fun time ever. and get your name in the Guinness Book really truly madly deeply initiated in to the concept that what you put out comes back threefold. If you give to #lma now on our link above you may just get yourself your own epic advenutre. Step 4: Elaboration: You'll need to follow us for that. Contact links for live tracking, our facebook page or back here at Do for details on the run. More bout that later, later. Step 5: Incubation - Applying your learning to other things. Transfer the BFO's and acknowledge the Aha factor. If you are part of the Arrowtown business womens association you may be joining the think tank I'm offering on the D.A.R.E. motivational workshop with free lunch and insight to what it is to be a Rickshaw Runner. There are just few spaces for members of the ABWN left for this so contact me if you would like to know more of our launch lunch - March 25th in Arrowtown. maybe you want your own D.A.R.E coaching or think tank. I think there may still be at least one room vacant, at some point pre run - contact me for more details. Step 6 and 7 ...Verification - the show you know stage and Celebration - because we are here for a good time not a long time. "How long do you have? . You may just have to stay with us to hear more about that. Follow our feeds and info links. #unplugged in India is only if you want to be. And I'd love to know you were with me enjoying the ride. If we do nothing other than encourage donations to the Live More Awesome Foundation we may just create the ultimate launch pad for our Rickshaw Run pan India in April of this year. Currently we have raised $730.00 for #lma with one week of fund rising under our belts. Thank you to those who have given we love you all! We are in third place on the leader board for the Live More Awesome Foundation, Worlds biggest water slide fund raising initiative. Third place means a couple of you, our supporters will get to slide down 600m of pure inflatable fun-ness at Bethalls Beach on March 28,29th as a thank you for supporting our journey. If we manage to crack first place in the #lma waterslide fund raising challenge, what a send off! Edward and I would get to cut the ribbon to launch the World's biggest water slide and jump into it on our way out of NZ to India for our Rickshaw Run; 11 days from West to East across the top of India in 11 days, km ?? We start in Jaisalmer in the Thar desert, close to the border of Pakistan all the way to Shillong the wettest place on the planet. But we need among one or two other things, ...your input to get there! Don't demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way, peace is possible. Epictetus 55-135 AD It's that time ...9 weeks to go, and I'm wavering about how much to #do and #notdo. I'm getting caught up in the details of route un-planning and pimping...The adventurists send us the template below and we colour it in and send it back. And when we turn up at the start line we should just be able to spot her in the crowd. We'd love you to have a go at it. Colour in the template and email it back to me at [email protected]. There are some design guidelines/ must haves/ nice to haves in my blog below. Not that I'm trying to over think anything of course. Go on D.A.R.E... There are prizes to be had. Read on, read on. Have you considered donating to Live more awesome? You may just win a chance to ride the world's biggest water silde and we may just get our names in the world record books. What we are looking for in a pimp job... VISABILITY - must be obvious to cows, pink buses of death and truck drivers on P in the middle of the night. And our mums and kids on facebook and our wonderful sponsors. ACCEPTABLE IN A LOCAL CONTEXT - we aim to be under the radar whilst hugely visible. And not end up in the poo. IDENTIFY AS KIWI - think silver ferns, cricket, speedy kiwis. Things that are recognisable and relatively neutral in India. STEER CLEAR of military, super power or religious affiliations. We are neutral and there to raise money for charity locally and internationally. PROMOTE OUR FUND RAISING PLEASE. PRIMO PIMP make us shine in a line up of 80 teams. Feel free to email me for more details, sponsor logos or any other criteria to pimp your pimp. The pimp party art department are amazeballs they can paint anything or anyone in addition to which we can take stickers of more intricate detail to add at the last start moment. http://www.worldsbiggestwaterslide.com/page/rickshawrunteamgoodbyecurrypie donate to #lma on this link and if we top the leader board for fund rising we get to share the worlds biggest waterslide with some of you, our supporters. Or please #do get involved with how our Auto should look, help us pimp our design and you could win an #lma t-shirt for your efforts . Donate on the link above or send me your template ideas before Feb 14th and on Valentines day I'll share the love by announcing a winner of a #lma t-shirt. Check out https://www.flickr.com/photos/adventurists/sets/72157626518140858/ for some design ideas and to get your creative boner on... their words not mine. I personally believe that the iPod is a frankly corrosive device because it encourages you to surround yourself with your favourites. The whole idea of a playlist is to surround yourself with your favourite things, and the interesting thing is that when you do that, they cease to be your favourites. Would you rather eat only your favourite food or never eat it again? Who is your favourite child mum? What can we DO today that's my favourite? Ask three guys girls... finding favour. fa·vour·ite (fvr-t, fvrt) n. 1. a. One that enjoys special favour or regard. b. One that is trusted, indulged, or preferred above all others, especially by a superior: a favourite of the monarch. 2. A contestant or competitor regarded as most likely to win. adj. Liked or preferred above all others; regarded with special favour. Now that we have added to lists of them, pinterest folders of them, favourite friends and favourite flavours are our lives more fulfilled or empty by the pursuit of what is preferred? Are our favs the things we already have or the things we think will bring us happiness if we ever manage to achieve them? Once we have them added them do we still favour them? Or are we fickle, wanting more, the newest, the latest, in the pursuit of our elite status? When we have to much of our favourite things do we feel blessed and indulged or overloaded? Constant comparisons drive competition. Is that our favourite leader, our favourite product or our favourite memory and who cares? If I indulge one over another who is the loser? Can I not enjoy the pleasure in all things simple or otherwise? In all people in all experiences and most particularly in the here and now. My favourite things in life don't cost any money, It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time - Steve Jobs. OMG - My BFO - our favourite things define how we spend our lives, what we surround ourselves with, what we long for adore and trust. I decided it was time for a self check. What would I like to save to favs today. My life play list. The things I would most like to prefer above all others, those most likely to win. 1. Synchronicity is my favourite thing. Those signs that we really are in the right place at the right time. The stars have aligned we are getting the message and what the point is. The AHA moment, the big tick, when you leave your laptop behind and have to drive three hours to collect it only to find a weather bomb would have you wiped you out had you continued forward on our journey without it. You read an article or a blog, run into a person or hear a song that matter just to you at the perfect time because you get the point at last. 2. LOVE - love of life, breathing love, feeling love - receiving and giving love. Because it's the one fav I really hope I'll never get sick of, could eat every day and enjoy always. 3. Faith - that there is a higher power, that everything happens to us for a reason. That we can trust that things are happening perfectly according to plan. Faith in my partner, my children, my god, my country, my government. This morning Miss 6 asked why the Prime Minister doesn't just sort out the wars? There are wars everywhere mummy? Will we have a war here mum? I hope not I replied, I've got a fair degree of faith that we are going to be ok. Even though the new leader of our opposition throws out his rhetoric daring to use the word war in a country where we all hope we have enough faith in our leaders to not have to experience one of any kind here on our soil ever. Then she reminded me - but we already have mum - there have been the maori wars. At six she has no faith in our leaders - wise child? Perhaps if faith is added to our favourites it will become the ideal that is trusted, indulged and preferred above all others. 4. Hope - Hope for the future, the triumph of anticipation often over reality. 5. Charity - Pay it forward, give it back. Contribute to a cause. The best way to lift your mood and those of others. Selfless. Volunteer for something. Work for free. Help someone less fortunate than yourself not just with your cheque book at a charity gala but by getting your hands dirty, do the leg work, hold someone when they cry, make the phone call, pop in spend a moment in their shoes. 6. Vintage - being part of something's story. I look at my favourite purchases, the material things that I love the most and will horde forever. A 1950's green wooden kitchen stool, it was my nana's , my dad carved an R in it and it has a deep gouge where he sawed a piece of wood. A $5 ginormous bound children's Websters Universal pictorial dictionary circa 1968 found at the recycling centre - word of the day gems steer me clear of all gewgaws. The surprise treasure within pressed flowers between the pages captured moments of someone's summer that fills my imagination with the story of what for them may have been. A ten euro gold thread dress from a Finnish thrift shop my best ever overseas designer purchase - I know I will never see another ever, it weaves and plays with light just so catching the eye as other pass me by and reminds me every time I wear it of the beauty of Helsinki and fossicking through her back streets it makes me feel like a Nordic goddess. 7. Whanau - all of them the blood and the water, that flow through our lifetimes, soul mates, twin flames, randoms in a bar somewhere. Those that touch you heart and stay in your mind for ever and a day. Those we have laughed with , cried with live and died with. Back slap when you meet again kindred spirits. Family. 8. Integrity - Linking what we think say and DO. Life's magnifier. Shows up the gaps who can you trust, who can you work with. It may not always be the nicest approach but it is the most real. When we are out of integrity we feel it. Life's compass spinning out of control, your out of alignment you know it - it shows. 9. Creativity - Art, creation, contribution, legacy. What can you create towards a better future? My clever Dads inventions and patents. My hospitality guru mums talents with food and friends. My children's drawings, skills with animals. My husband's painting 'the arrival" with it's formula for wave theory a reminder of the engineering genius inside the artist, time to brainstorm with an individual on what they may be able to create for themselves. The smallest, cost free as precious as any high end value item. An art work worth thousands or the legacy of improving infrastructure outcomes a precious trail delivered around the country, one of my workshops attended by 600. It is when I look at what I have created, my children, my writing, my work, my garden, and each of my life lessons that I feel fulfilled. Favoured, gifted, blessed and special. Hidden talents, being able to call a deer, play the trumpet to make music or magic - what do you have to share? 10. Generosity - Kindness, Pay it forward, Forgiveness and Sharing. To see a friend offer their home free of charge to a holidaying family without quite knowing why only to find that family have lost their mum to cancer warms a whole village with the story. To pay for someone's parking even inadvertently like when the text to park didn't quite work for me the other day and then happily informed three times over the next three hours that my payment/s had been accepted made me warm to think of the stranger arriving at the machine to find the ticket printed waiting for them. When we offer a ride, a hand up or our time. When we extend a leave pass, a way out or an olive branch. What we put out comes back threefold. I hope that in putting out these thoughts about my favourite things it goes just a little way towards somebody somewhere realising that when they remember there favourite things they really don't feel so bad. I have had prayers answered - most strangely so sometimes - but I think our heavenly Father's loving-kindness has been even more evident in what He has refused me. - Lewis Carroll Fathers day today - did you ring yours? Is he still alive? Did you catch up over a fish or beer or brunch at a trendy café. Do you wonder who he is or where he went or why he had to go away? Milestone dates like these - fathers day, mothers day... where we are bombarded by Hallmark moments and Bunnings ads that are so mass generated as to be cringe worthy.Do they have any idea of the potential customer base they may be alienating. I long to hear of the teacher who acknowledges that the fathers day card activity may need some tweaking to meet her class demographic of 2013. The nuclear family is hardly the norm. What of those who sit today or on mothers day or any other culturally inept example of celebration missing their dads without the soch-med-cred of fitting the event to a tee? There are dads who may never be known. Or those who have been taken too soon or confusingly by cancer, alcoholism or prison. The suicide's, the workaholics, the ones that are unnamed on birth certificates or lost at sea. There are dads whose babies have died before them who must face today without a child. The truth is we all had one. A sperm donor a contributor to DNA pool. Was he tall dark and handsome? An entrepreneur or engineer? In todays mix of blended families we may be lucky enough to have more than one. A step father, a foster dad, a grand father great or otherwise. How we know them, love them and connect with them may define us, bind us or blind us. We do our dads a disservice to lump them all together and expect them to be here today, wearing the socks we've bought them and eating the breakfasts we have prepared. I believe that before we incarnate we choose our parents. For the lessons they will teach us and what we decide we would like to learn this lifetime this time around on this planet. If you incarnate to a couple of teenagers ill prepared for parent hood it's no great surprise when the relationship doesn't show longevity. Perhaps if the early loss or death of your dad builds your character, your fortitude, your compassion and your care you have an opportunity to DO things you would not have chosen to DO otherwise. To connect with other people, to champion a cause. To give love to another dad whom you may not have had space or time for before. If your dad was a hard task master what did you learn? If he was a softie, a push over, a woman on her own wat and how does that make you? Our dads are there to teach us, by their presence or by their absence or even by the fact that we may never know who they were or where they came from. I was reading through an old journal today and I found two fathers day gems. My first babies first word was uttered on fathers day it was Dada. It was a special thing to share with her today her first fathers day without her dad. A life lesson - that has stuck with me was also noted. My dad reminding me that when I didn't get something I didn't want it bad enough. I'd been turned down for physiotherapy school and was very woe is me. Expecting comfort and consolation I still recall the fury at being told it was all up to me. But I got it. Yep I should have studied more, not gone to the pub, chased the boys, thought I was good enough to get in without the work. And every time since when I miss out on anything I know more and more clearly my dad is right. If I really want anything I can create it. And when I miss out it's ok - I can't have really wanted that thing anyway. The picture above is my darling dad. I love you x x And I'm really really glad you are alive today. Today I have been thinking a lot of my own dad and a lot of the dads who are not here and the dads that are. My kids were scrapping tonight and I had to cut my phone call short - it's ok I know he heard what I wanted to say. My dad is lighting a candle for my brother in law - a dad I've thought of today who is on the other side. There are many of them. All my grand dads, the closet person I had to a step dad, my daughters dad, dads of my nieces and nephews, mum and aunties. Maybe your dad or a dad you have loved too. Dads of friends and friends children who through misadventure, mismanagement or mystery are not with their children here on earth today. Dads who lead good lives, full lives and long lives. Dad's with lives cut short too soon. They are all here - larger than life, in our thoughts, our memories and our circumstances. Our heavenly fathers. Those who seeded life as we know it. Today is the day we in New Zealand hold them in our hearts and thoughts and thank them for being the ones we all chose to have as our parents. Happy fathers day everyone - x |
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